It was one of those days. Aches and pains, pains and aches, achy pains – I swear my body was one big hurt. All I wanted to do was become part of the couch in whatever unflattering position was most comfortable. Hell, it was all I could do to drag myself to the daily grind. Know what I mean?
My senses were overloaded with displeasure the second I entered the office. A harsh aroma was in the air and trust, it was not that of a field of fragrant vibrant flowers. No, this was the insistent and pungent odor of eucalyptus. Mortified, I mumbled “good morning” and made a beeline for the ladies room.
Inside the safety of a locked stall, I sniffed my dress. Had my ointment’s odoriferousness come through the light cotton fabric? Had it written an announcement all over my pretty summer dress that bursitis had taken over new territory?
A quick – and assuring – self-assesment was the ticket. Armed with the knowledge that DKNY’s Be Delicious parfum spray was doing its scent-masking job quite well, I boldly walked back into the main office…and on my way to my own, I noticed at least three desks with humungoid tubes of Icy Hot ®. A couple of others had wrist braces resting near computer mouses – devices, I might add that were oddly kissin’ cousin’ close to pain-relieving Aspercreme ®.
Ecstatic that my door was closed and the offending smell wouldn’t be inside my domain, I took out my formidable weapon and with a few short spurts cloaked the open office space with deliciousness all around.
See, I’m not without compassion. May the mentholatum be with you.