A confirmed early riser am I. Morning is my favorite time of day, especially on the weekend. Without the daily grind to hustle off to, I ready a few to-do lists for the week and chat with the dog while the coffee brews.
This Saturday was like any other. Shower-fresh and wearing a soft, comfy royal blue lounger and matching footies (a femme always has to match it’s in the rulebook), I watched the coffeemaker drip a day’s worth of congeniality. I’m all about manners, you know.
Like clockwork, Louis shuffled in and nudged the back of my leg. “Mornin’, big boy.”
“Good morning, Beautiful!”
Did you know that whiplash can occur inside of the home? I’m Black-Irish – and none of my ancestors have been partial to haints and ghostessess. Great-danes either ’cause he hid behind me…and when his cold nose touched my elbow, I jumped high enough to get my hair tangled in the ceiling fan.
I almost cried out for my butch-wife but that womyn can sleep through a foghorn blasting thisclose to hir ear. So, I hung there for a minute and wondered how I was going to get down with hair intact (knew I shouldn’t have let it get this long).
Just as the coffeemaker gave its last gurgle, gravity came to the rescue. After I dropped to the floor (minus a couple of Pantene conditioned strands), I gave my very un-worried dog a miffed “side-eye” and grabbed a cupful of deliciousness.
“Way to be concerned about me, Lou-Lou,” I muttered then took that first mindnumbingly wonderful sip. “Mmm!”
“Make today an awesome day!”
Caffeine gives me mucho courage. “Okay, who the hell is in here?”
“Hug yourself today!” my hand suggests. Hand? My hand? The hand that has been holding a paper towel – the selfsame crumpled wad that has been whispering inspirational sayings all ghostlike and whatnot since I’d entered the kitchen? Really?!
I’ve already packed up the remaining
talking seven rolls of Sparkle and will donate them to a soup kitchen’s pantry this week.
Oh yeah. And, somewhere there’s a blue-haired pointy-eared squeaky-voiced pixie picking coffee grounds out of her tutu.